


The case of the insidious SPAM

by dogandmonkeyshow



Series: Watson's Woes JWP 2018 stories [5]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 01:51:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15184127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogandmonkeyshow/pseuds/dogandmonkeyshow
Summary: To divert himself from the edges of incipient stroppiness, John amused himself by coming up with a list of sins more appropriate to the modern world.





	The case of the insidious SPAM

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Watson's Woes JWP 2018 fic fest, prompt #5: A Deadly Simple. It's poison.

John clicked the top of his mechanical pencil to advance the lead, and read the next question.

_If you were to personify a sin, which would it be?_

What?

He re-read the question. Yep, he’d read it correctly the first time.

John stared across the room and out the window, one half of his brain raging at the Royal Army Medical Corps and the other wondering which answer would be least likely to get him sectioned. Or possibly which might garner him one of the more amusing psychotropic drugs. 

With a sigh that he knew was probably being recorded somewhere for Doctor Ella’s analysis, he turned back to question 13-B of the Standardised Psychiatric Assessment Mechanism. Putting aside the profound stupidity of the question, John wondered if he could even name the Seven Deadly Sins. And weren’t there supposed to be other, Non-deadly Sins, as well? Did they count? Were there league tables for sin, like for football?

 _Pick your poison, Watson_ , he mused as he struggled to remember anything beyond Greed and Sloth, neither of which he thought he could get away with claiming. He wondered if this was one of those questions where the point was to see how much tolerance the subject had for having their mind fucked over, or how much bullshit they’d put up with before starting to turn the furniture over. The more he thought about it, the more the latter idea seemed plausible.

To divert himself from the edges of incipient stroppiness, John amused himself by coming up with a list of sins more appropriate to the modern world. He ignored the more obvious ones (queue jumping, never getting in a round, texting while driving, etc.) and tried to stretch himself in order to use up the last five minutes he'd been allocated to comple the SPAM.

Using your phone as a loudspeaker on public transport. Cycling on pavements. Spilling booze on other people at sporting events. Expecting friends to help you move but not returning the favour. 

John chuckled. That should get the white coat brigade stroking their chins, he thought as he wiped the smile off his face. 

He glanced down at question 13-B, still waiting for an answer. He shrugged and wrote, “Disdain for standardised testing.” Ignoring the remaining questions, John closed the booklet, sat back, and waited for his allotted time to run out.


End file.
